How to have a tough conversation

When the stakes of a conversation are high, many of us clam up or blow up. A recent survey by Al Switzler, Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny and Ron McMillan, co-authors of "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High" (McGraw-Hill), found that the person most people struggle to hold difficult, life-changing conversations with is their boss. Spouses are second. In the survey, 525 respondents identified a single conversation that had life-altering consequences. More than half said the effects of this one conversation lasted forever. Nearly two-thirds permanently damaged a relationship. One in seven harmed a career.

By Wendy Donahue, Tribune Newspapers

December 27, 2011